(Disclaimer: Each paragraph is it's own individual thoughts, any paragraphs that seem to be related is purely coincidental.)
I am constantly struggling with the ego of my mind. It is a valley with slippery slope. At the bottom of this slope is absolute despair, insecurities, and self loathing. This is a place I never want to be and the desire to live never lets me reach this place. At times I am complacent, digging my heels into the ground, happily taking a rest where I am satisfied with neither climbing nor sliding down. Other times I see that enlightenment at the top and fight tooth and nail to get closer. Some semblance of effort satisfies me more than it really should. When I look around, I see people struggling with me. It's comforting, but should it really be? Seeing a few people struggling at the bottom third of this hill, taking years just to get a couple of steps higher, only to take one mistake and end up sliding down ten. With so many people who don't even realize whats going on, so many people trying to dig down into the ground as deep as they can refusing to move.
Sigh... one thing at a time. I really want to be a solid foundation for my own beliefs and values. But I have to be a stronger, better person. I hope the paths I choose to lead me there aren't pretentious ideals that are completely wrong, based on a society that is completely unfair and broken.
There are many things in this world that we should take the time to appreciate more. Sincere hugz :D, be they from someone you love deeply, a strange who you just shared a great moment with or even the surprise hug you get when your mistaken for someone else! Waking up in bed when it's warm and everything is conformed to a huge bubble of comfy around your body. The stretch you get when after a yawn, after you've haven't moved from an area for ten plus minutes or two days after a hard workout! That random smile you get returned from a stranger, even better when it's a cutie, is it not? :oP The morning sunlight warming your skin when you first enter it. Having your upper back, head, tummy, cheek, being rubbed while laying lazily around. I dunno, all these thoughts put a smile on my face and makes me warm inside.
With that I'll leave you to the evening!
