Well, I guess I should explain the acronym. The first half is obvious, what the fuck, and the last half may not be as common, am I doing.
That being said, lets expand on why I'm asking this... I just had that creeping feeling, you know that one where you feel like your drifting in a big space of existence and not sure what your doing with your life. Ah, yes, that great wonderful feeling of dread that drops on us out of nowhere, like a huge Albertan shit storm. The great questions pop in my head, what am I doing with my life? Am I treating the people in my life fairly, and on top of that do they know I really do love them? Who in this world pretend to like me, but actually have a serious problem with me? How many of my choices were bad ones! BLAH! Why am I worrying about so many things I can't really control? People, y'all can't deny it that you do have these feelings, and according to my roommate I get this quite a bit more frequently than others.
Don't get me wrong, my life is full of thrilltastic (thrilling + fantastic), wonderrific (wonderful + terrific) people and situations. I'm currently dating this amazing girl, I have many friends who I feel I can trust with my life and care about me, a job that's keeping my head above water, etc, etc. It's almost guaranteed this feeling will blow over very soon.
This feeling comes up to all of us, and honestly as long as you don't dwell on it too much and it doesn't come up too regularly, it's a very good thing to have. The reason being is this gets people to evaluate their lives and figure out things that are important to you. It's a mental note from your brain to say, "Hey buddy, lets go through things together!" Really, don't be too scared when it comes up.
P.S. Fuck you insecurity, you don't help me when shit like this pops up!
A year ago, I wouldn't have sympathized with you at all. I always faced these moments with my usual type-A solution-oriented mindset and always had a plan for the future, a direction to head in that filled the insecurities of the moment.
ReplyDeleteBut now I've fallen desperately in love with someone who has set all my assumptions on their head. My health is so poor I can barely feed myself never mind work. And while I remain strangely happy, the lack of an overall plan leaves me terrified.
Life is about combining the two feelings: enjoy the things life offers you, the people or jobs or random good times, but also find some level of comfort in a general life plan - you don't have to get too specific, just find something to work towards. It can be job oriented, a life goal, or even something silly like reading every Encyclopedia Brown book by 2012. Just pick a direction you want to go in, lay out a clear milestone or three, and refer back to that goal as a compass for bad days.
But don't make my mistake and overplan your life! Because life has a very strange sense of humour, and will happily set all your assumptions on their head the moment you think everything is going as planned :P
I've never understood people who don't get this feeling. People who do not strive to better themselves or change there surroundings no matter how unhappy they are. Maybe these people are afraid of change? I dunno. I find myself at a place where I am happy with my life (other than the random bouts of depression lol) but for the first time ever I really cannot come up with a goal or something to strive for in the future. I need to find something to aim for. But there is nothing I want. I've dreamt about a trip to Europe but it would take years of saving and planning and the biggest hurdle finding someone to go with. Hmmm, maybe I will plan it! It might make me feel like I'm at least doing something for the future =)
ReplyDeleteThank's for the tip Lilah! I'm sorry to hear about your condition, I hear massage is the best way to help manage it, if need to I'll give ya a decent rate :S As for life, it's going very well, I just had a sudden attack of WTFAID's one night. After reflecting on everything, I was thinking about how wonderful my person life is, I have someone who I'm developing a relationship with, my friends are good to me and I have a couple more things to look forward to in the near future!
ReplyDeleteSarah, I'm glad I could help you reflect! Also, I am planning on hitting Europe sometime, so if I do know you, then maybe we can go together or something :D
Thanks for the comments guys!